So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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