i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
