i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
