He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
