just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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