I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
