It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
