So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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