.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hippo gnu deer
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
