last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
