And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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