so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
