There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
