You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
