Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
