All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
