herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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