Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
