I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
