is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
