Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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