Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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