I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
