she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
