he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
