ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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