he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
