There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
