ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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