I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
