Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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