I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
