Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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