i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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