Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My pussy is not your playground.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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