i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
