38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
