Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
