Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
