Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
