He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
