Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
