he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
