they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
