well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where is the hickey?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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