Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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