Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
