i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
