so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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