the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
