new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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