i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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