never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
