i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
