Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Holy shit dude........stairs
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