Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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